There was a song* that proposed just this, back when I was growing up, it was saying in essence, that sometimes, if we can’t be with the one we love, we should love the one we’re with. It might be the best advice ever. I think that at times, more people want to love the person in their imagination, than the one they’re with, and if you think about that, how does that work? We live in an age of nearly instant gratification with internet links just a click away, and with online dating, why, just look at all those people out there, who might just be able to make me happy. When in reality, we have the task in life, to make ourselves happy.
And the other thing is; that we only know so much about all those other people, and to be honest, they’re not really in your life, and trying to live in your head is not very comforting at all. So, how do you love the one you’re with? You might just start by learning to love yourself, by allowing yourself to explore who you are, and how you might make yourself happy, and then, you can allow this space, this freedom, created by being curious instead of judgmental, into the relationships you now have. If your lover isn’t meeting your needs, are you telling them what your needs are? We experience life only one moment at a time, and if you’re wishing for more love, fill your moments with love, one person at a time, start with you.
* Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young